Thursday, June 9, 2011
Time Alone, with a child.
I didn't see how this is working for us when my individual time with one child usually lead to extreme jealousy from the other child.
Since they are twins, I don't get a lot of time alone with each child. The only times were the ones I dread, like one not going down for their nap or one waking up 30 mins into their nap. I started with 10 mins of individual time at home in my room doing some reading and playing puzzles with them. But that just resulted in 10 mins of individual time with one child and 10 mins of crying for the other. So, I changed my plan and brought one out each time. It can be quite enjoyable to bring just one. Being stretched with 2 toddlers in tow most of the time, bringing one out is a breeze. All was fine till recently, they cannot accept it's the other's turn. So, this individual time became another happy time for one and a devastating time for the other.
My plan has to change again. This week, I got my mum to bring K out and I made them go out first before Y and I set off. But I had a hard time with Y, check out his attitude from our conversation below:
Me: Hey, let's go ride on the LRT (I thought he would like it since he hasn't ride on one)
Y: No... I don't want.
Me: It's going to be fun. We are going to take a MRT train, then a LRT train.
Y: NO... it's raining (it was not and he continued to play with his toys.)
Y (after a while, decided that staying home is not so fun after all): I want to take a bus.
Me: OK, let's go take a bus then.
On the way to the bus stop
Y: I want Mummy to carry you. (he is still confused with pronounce.)
Me: No, you walk to the bus stop and Mummy will carry you.
Y: Mummy will carry you when we reach the bus stop.
Me (trying to encourage him to get up the bus as he is a little scared of that): Will you try to get on the bus on your own?
Me: Will you try?
Y: I cannot.
Me: How do you know when you haven't even try?
Y: I do before. (started to ignore me)
The boys were really terrified of going up the bus and escalator but K has since overcome his fear from our last alone trip. When we reached the escalator, Y refused to take the lift so I told him he has to try to do it with me helping if he wants the escalator. He reluctantly agreed and was a little terrified when we were on it. But he happily exclaimed, "You did it!" when we got off and asked to do it again.
He slowly gained his confidence and was stepping up and down the escalator by the 3rd one. On our way home, I asked him again.
Me: Will you try to get on the bus on your own?
Thought for a while
Y: I want!
He did and when he got up, he exclaimed again "You did it!" (he meant "I did it").
It was from 2 alone trips that the boys conquered their fear and I'm starting to believe that individual time is beneficial for the children as we never know how much or how little attention we are giving to each one when we have 2 (or more for some) at one time.