Monday, April 9, 2012

They REFUSED to or they INSIST .

How many times have you heard a parent or a caregiver says, "he/she/they refused to"? Yes, there are times or rather for us, most of the times, children are not cooperative and refused to do anything we say. There are things that we can let go and there are things that we absolutely have to stand firm, especially when the actions compromise safety and house rules.

I can understand....

- he/she/they refused to wear the new branded red shirt
- he/she/they refused to eat
- he/she/they refused to make their bed
- he/she/they insist on wearing the pair of old shorts to a birthday party
- he/she/they insist on bringing a toothbrush to school

I CANNOT understand why parents or caregivers give in to ...

- he/she/they refused to take his medicine.
- he/she/they refused to hold my hands while crossing the road.
- he/she/they refused to sit on the safety car seat and wanted to sit at the backseat alone unbuckled in the car.
- he/she/they insist on going swimming when he/she/they are having a cold.
- he/she/they insist on eating junk before meal and the parent complains later that their child never eats well.

Those "cannot understand" times are times when you need to ask yourself, who is the adult? Who supposedly can make wiser decisions than a toddler? If a child insist on playing with a knife, will you let him? We don't need such extremes to react and set limits to children who were given more power than they should. I'm exasperated with grandparent who do not set limits and let children take over.

I was out for 2 hours yesterday afternoon and left the boys in my mom's care and they refused to nap, refused to let my mom in the room and they insist on playing and starting a party in the room. With no limits set and things going their way, they took over and got over tire and had a bad meltdown when I got home. My mom, not knowing what to do and often terrified of the boys' meltdown, closed the kitchen door and busied herself in the kitchen while I'm left alone to stop 2 violent boys from hurting themselves and me. I'm mad, very mad. How do we educate the older generation on setting limits? How do we remind ourselves on limits setting?

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