Tuesday, November 15, 2011


Siblings fight all the time but my boys’ fights had been a worrying problem since 6 months old. When I confide in people about their fights, that I can’t take my eyes off them to prevent the bad fights, the response I get is always, “oh.. boys.. they fight all the time…”. Hmm... How about fights that are really aggressive and fights that draw blood?

I decided to take a picture of one of the many bite injuries, with the intention to show them when they grow up, to let them know this is how bad their fights were, since baby time. And if you think this bite is bad, it’s far from the worst bites in our family history. This photo was taken a day after the bite and as I tried to take it without him knowing, it was too dark to even show how the real thing looks like. There were many times when I almost feel faint and wonder if I should bring the kid to the doctor when I see the bite mark.
20111101_bite (1)
I‘ve tried many methods that the parenting book suggest, time outs, ignore the offender, very stern scolding, separating them, etc and they are still biting. As they grow older, the bites get more serious and I’m trying to find a way to stop it, effectively and immediately. I can’t let my other child be bitten again and again as a learning progress for his sibling.

I took a step back and tried to understand why Y bite. I began to suspect the recent biting episodes are due to Y’s jealousy of K’s potty training advancement. So, I tried, my very best to show more attention to Y, to see him in a better light, bring out the best in him and bringing him out for our individual time. The past 5 days had been bite free. I’m hoping it stays this way. I’m still trying to find an effective response to stop this biting. Caning is my last resort. I bought a cane one afternoon in a fit of anger after Y bite K again but I withheld the cane. My husband feels strongly about no caning. He was often caned when he was a child. We also feel that we should not use violence to counter a violent act. If we tell them we should not bite, neither should we hit. But I haven’t found the miracle response that will stop the biting if any of them bite again.

Anyone out there who had the same experience as us and found an effective way to stop this? Any advice is appreciated! 

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